As dorm rooms are something we all can/will relate to, we thought we’d give y’all our quick run down of the TOP 10 HUMAN-LINGS you are likely to come across in a dorm...
Backpacking on a budget is something all travellers know very well. Learning the best places to eat cheaply, honing your bartering skills or staying in those $2 a night dorm rooms for the majority of your trip; it’s all part of the backpacking experience. I’m a firm believer in the expression 'the people make the party' and this term for me also describes perfectly the whole dormitory experience whilst travelling. Dorm rooms in general are something you need to embrace on your trip (especially if on a budget) and ultimately realise that they’re not only cheaper, but are also the best way to meet other people when travelling – be it solo or in a group. Being in a dorm room with up to 10 (or more) people will naturally lead to you making great friends…for the most part.
“Oh a nice vibrating mattress to lull me to sleep” you might think? You’d be thinking wrong, that would be the reverberations from the monster sleeping beneath you. Don’t forget to pack your earplugs because every dorm room has at least one of these. Just hope it hasn’t been a day of heavy drinking, cos before you know it the whole dorm will turn into an orchestra!
The Lads On Tour
THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN…for all the wrong reasons. After spending the last 10 summers in Magaluf the lads have had a change of heart. After watching an episode or two of ‘Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents’ they’ve gone and booked themselves a trip to Thailand. Arriving in fluro clothing, some of which is smaller than my Grandma’s tea towel, they’ll hit the parties hard and perceive everyone around them (that’s you) to have the same party mentality as them. God forbid you get woken up at 5am and not want a shot of Vodka…shame on you!
In most cases, the quieter ones in the dorm will be armed with one of the many chosen weapons of artistry which backpackers gravitate to; think Poi, fire sticks, tattoo guns or the timeless Diablo. Though quieter, these are some of the best people in the dorm, who can actually muster up a decent conversation that isn’t based around ‘how many buckets they drunk last night’.
The High and Mighty
It’s a harsh fact of life, but sadly you can’t be liked by everyone, and much like this fact, there are also people out there who just straight up hate everyone. No matter what people do they’ll look down upon it in some way and have something to say about it. And as much as I would love to describe these people with a few choice words, we just have to accept them – but let’s face it, it’s probably their parents fault! Take these people in your stride, you never know they could even take a leaf out of your book and have fun!
Before arriving, this individual has done their research on where they’re going and what they’re “doing”. They’ve also either come with or know where to purchase “what they want”. The basics of it, they just want to get twisted on any substances that part of the world has to offer. Be warned, you may find this person rolling around the floor of the dorm talking to themselves, but don’t worry (unless this persists for more than 24-hours) they’re probably having a great time.
Fresh from high school and ready to take on the big bad world! We’ve all been there and in most cases you’ll see a part of yourselves in these individuals. Highly impressionable and therefore in danger of slotting into any one of these categories within the next couple of months.
This time it’s not the reverberations from the snoring keeping you awake, if you know what we mean ;) . They’ve got all the moves and have had more sexual partners than hot dinners, so if you encounter The Shagger look forward to many sleepless nights with them in your dorm room as they specialise in spreading the joy of insomnia and quite possibly the clap!
The Gap Yar
Mummy and Daddy were just so darn proud of their little sweetness doing so well in university, they deemed it necessary to fund their alcohol fuelled trip around the globe – money can buy a plane ticket indeed, but sadly it just can’t buy common sense. Though the majority of the Gap Yar’s are lovely people, they generally don’t seem to have a clue; the one thing they are particularly good at is ‘topping a story’, no matter what you did and how you did it, no doubt they’ve done one better.
The ‘I’ve been here so long I’ve grown roots and generally know better than you’ person
How will you spot this person? Don’t worry they’ll let you know who they are. We all know this guy, they’ve been volunteering in the guesthouse for free food and board for about a month and can count to 10 in the native tongue. No matter what your plans are, in their eyes they are crap and you definitely should do it their way 'cos they know best. Just remember everyone has a different trip, and even though you may stop in similar places to everyone else, your trip is yours and will be completely unique no matter what you do.
The Happy Traveller
The happy go lucky traveller who mingles with every type of person under the sun, you may find that they occasionally fall into any of the categories above for a short period of time, but it’ll be in the best way possible. The kind of traveller we all aspire to be, though sadly we probably fall short of.
Though there are countless stereotypes to run through when it comes to dorm rooms, we thought we’d serve up some of our favourites, and if you happen to be offended by this post, maybe you need to reread the list, figure out what offended you, then have a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself “Why?”...
If you’ve got any extras to add to the list or any generally hilarious stories from your time in dorm rooms, then please feel free to add them in the comments below – we do love a good belly laugh!
See you on the Beach,
Words by Luke